Lavender Awino: “Where It All Began: Rewriting a Story That Said ‘Girls Are Less’”

As I was preparing for this, I was moving with utmost intention to rise above what’s already mainstream i.e policies, or advanced leadership pipelines. Because for me, the most impactful stages began much earlier. I grew up in a beautiful village (which I am very attached to to date),but in a traditional setting where whispers said, “girls are less.” And it was Okore Booker Charles- “Daddy” who boldly defied odds and elected to re-write our story. My father is easily my favourite person and thus speaking about him is
quite an easy thing to do. I say this because without him there is no way all my other favourite people would exist, none of them, yes, I can trace every single one of you who is dear to me here right back to him and how he made that possible, he has always led me here, right here with all of you.
To know my dad is to know what makes a great leader. Daddy made something of himself with not as many options that we all have access to today.

Speaking of norms and biases,
In our community, sons were the prize. Daughters? Merely tolerated. My parents lost two sons, and then came four daughters and one last born son. By local standards, that was a misfortune. But my father reversed that script. He chose us , his girls and son and gave us more than an education. He gave us courage, esteem, and voice. He dedicated his resources to our growth, even when society pulled him in other directions. Trust me, that choice, in a patriarchal setting, was quite an aggressive act of rebellion. This explains why for me, leadership is not an abstract concept, it is deeply personal. It is a gift I witnessed, lived, and absorbed every day from my father, whose presence and influence remain deeply alive within me, even now.

All these, took Character– A Fixer, Storyteller, Father
Daddy a fixer of everything (his dear friends in the room; Mrs. June Obell and Mr. James Mugera can attest to that); so much so that we often said his brain was computerized. And he was our Daddy. So loved, such a compass, that in a homestead of 10 family clusters, when anyone said “Daddy,” everyone knew who it was.As for me, his last-born daughter, I wasn’t just “Lavender.” To daddy, I was, Des Des, Choka, Dana, Abala, Nyar Bodo, DesDana, Des Choks – you name it- Each name carrying love, mischief, and memory.

He was also such a dedicated storyteller, baptizing grandchildren with names that carried culture, contemporaries, humor, rhythm, and blessings. My father referred to my nephew Charlie with such finesse that it sounded like an announcement of royalty: wuod gi Amolo Sururusuru, wuodgi Amolo wuod Oganda, wuodgi Amolo kudho chwoyo ng’ama onyone!”

I would like Charlie to grow up knowing that he doesn’t just carry your name ; he carries the echo of a grandfather who believed in proclaiming greatness over his children and grandchildren.

And then there is my niece, Jhnelle aka Bujubujwes. Daddy called her Buju and she called him Jujues. To Daddy, she and her little cousin Imora were his “agemates and playmates , the only people he stamped that were above the law in his home!”

Jhnelle’s presence, aura and character, is a living reminder that babu’s love flows forward and that his legacy continues in her.

Education & His Affirmations

Daddy believed that education and empowerment was the only way to get us through. He didn’t stop there, he greatly and publicly celebrated milestones too, authentically and in a bid to shift societal mindsets. When I earned my Master’s degree, Daddy publicly posted an excerpt that I carry in my heart to this day. He wrote, word for word:

“My little girl, Lavender Okore a.k.a Awis Nyakisumo, a go-getter, a no-nonsense lady, the most disciplined and most resilient child I’ve ever encountered, I lack the right words to congratulate you on earning your Masters degree in Commerce today from the prestigious Strathmore University. Need I add that it’s a first of sorts since you’ve attained this feat in just one year and a half. Now you’;re only a step away from ‘actual graduation’ (PhD), as you aptly put it ‘siyo degree ya jina moja’. Go go go my little angel, the Almighty God is holding you by the right hand. Glory and honour be to Jehovah God for this rare feat, my lovely and loving daughter. Congratulations, my sweetheart.”

Some other day, he texted and said “ my greatest desire in life is to bequeath to my society at least one female professor, even 2 or 3, even if it is posthumously, so help me God.

That wasn’t just a text. It was a contractual commitment between me and dad, I wasn’t just invited into the negotiations phase. And today, as I pursue my PhD, I know I am simply walking in the confidence he built into me- to date I draw so much purpose from these interactions. Daddy’s passion for education was unshakable. He believed that knowledge was the most powerful inheritance he could give, not just to his own children, but to every young person around him. He made it his mission to ensure that those in his community had the chance to learn, to grow, and to dream beyond their circumstances. Many today owe their opportunities to his conviction that education could change the trajectory of a life, and through that, change society itself .

But beyond these affirmations, he passed on the most important lessons he picked from his mentor, the late Dr Griffins of Starehe Boys’ Centre and I quote- “This world is full of people who do their duty half-heartedly, grudgingly and poorly. Don’t be like them. Whatever is your duty, do it as fully and perfectly as you possibly can. And when you have finished your duty, go on to spare some time and talent in service for less fortunate people, not for any reward at all, but because it is the right thing to do.” Dad remains our compass. He led his family not with fear, but with love, and integrity. He taught us discipline when we needed boundaries, resilience when we faced hardships, and confidence when the world seemed too daunting. He showed what it meant to lead with firmness and compassion.

The Bigger Picture _Raised to Lead

This is the spirit behind Raised to Lead. The past 3 years or so, my siblings and I have cracked our heads on how to drive legacy and impact. My father may not have been a politician or a CEO. But he was an Telecommunications engineer (the best in Nyanza and Western Region at the time), a farmer, a fixer, a board member, a mentor, a protector and above all, a present father. His love disrupted prejudice, his courage insisted on possibility, and his presence raised leaders. And so, my story is not just mine. It is mirrored in countless stories in this room, across Africa and beyond. Fathers who choose to show up. Daughters who rise because someone believed in them.

Call to Action_Outro
So why does this story matter? Because it is not only my father’s story. It is a fine print, a duty stamp why fatherhood should uphold daughter’s birthrights especially in a very dynamic and shifting societyCall to Action_Outro So why does this story matter? Because it is not only my father’s story. It is a fine print, a duty stamp why fatherhood should uphold daughter’s birthrights especially in a very dynamic and shifting society 

This story right here is what we advocate for and celebrate in fatherhood:

• Love that does not hide.
• Courage that pushes back against bias.
• Presence that shapes leaders for the future.

Today, I carry with me his lessons that:

• Tenacity is forged by fire of hardship
• Discipline builds character
• Confidence will unlock doors that fear would otherwise keep out of
  reach.

As I conclude, Dad’s shoulders have been broad enough to carry us, to steady us and to constantly point us towards a future brighter than his beginnings.
It is because of him that:

• I serve with integrity when called upon
• I lead with compassion,
• I will always rise when I fall and will forever uplift others with me

So as we keep engaging as leading ladies, we also raise a toast to -the cheerful memories we hold of our fathers, the unique paths that are yet to come for our children.

Raised to lead is about men who shape destinies long before the world notices and even longer after they depart from the world. With that, here’s to every ‘he’ that raises ‘her’ with diligence and intention.